we're blogging at a bar
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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