Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
