I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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