Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Are we still banned from the library?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
