We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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