We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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