i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How naked do you want me to be?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
