...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
