it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
