The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
