Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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