Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.