WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize