you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?