Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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  (662): Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45. http://tfl.nu/maq6
  Replies (40) Good night (6411) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.

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  (435): She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/8hnp
  Replies (29) Good night (6894) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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  (614): I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice... http://tfl.nu/gtdb
  Replies (7) Good night (2830) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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  (530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2373) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.

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  (570): knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that. http://tfl.nu/tu47
  Replies (6) Good night (1523) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.

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  (707): I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched. http://tfl.nu/zef2
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.

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  (715): my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina. http://tfl.nu/moie
  Replies (16) Good night (755) Bad night (1632)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2003) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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  (518): I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much http://tfl.nu/5fop
  Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.

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  (202): Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem. http://tfl.nu/fe20
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.

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  (416): I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison. http://tfl.nu/ptp6
  Replies (1) Good night (1119) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.

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  (502): I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/jrsq
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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  (505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.

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  (406): You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him. http://tfl.nu/veeu
  Replies (12) Good night (516) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then apparently I went "not bad" and continued

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  (434): I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night (434): then apparently I went "not bad" and continued http://tfl.nu/4s21
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (270)

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