so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.