So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
