I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
