There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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