I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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