Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
