the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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