please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
