Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
