I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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