On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
