you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
