Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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