Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
