Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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