I think my fart just growled at me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
