I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize