I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no, he came in my armpit
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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