How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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