Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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