i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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