I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
