so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
