The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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