even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
