Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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