seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
