like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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