is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can I color on your dick again?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
