i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to