I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.