Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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