I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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