The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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