yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
