We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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