yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize