yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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