Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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