why didn't you poke me back
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
