it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
