pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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