I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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