We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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