every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found puke in my bra..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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