I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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