yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
BRING THE BAGELS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
