so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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