Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
