well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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