Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
