hotel room ftw
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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