Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
