Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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