she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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