My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize